I was talking to Ozzie the other day about how every guy seems to go through this period where they are fucking annoying as shit, somewhere in the vicinity of mid-30's through late 40's (kind of like your teenage years revisited as in, it's a time you think you have it all figured out, but you really don't realize that you don't know as much as you thought you did until later). Pretty much all of the guys I know that were in that age-range (and had kids at some point) hold by our theory. They get with the program again when they once again achieve some sort of peace of mind around age 50 when they let it all go. I don't know what it is, and I know it's a good number of years away for me, but I'm not interested in going through it myself. If anyone has any tips short of offing myself, let me know. In the meantime, I will just enjoy today.
Every day at the end of work, my head feels like a zit that's about to pop.
I need to simplify things, but I'm not entirely sure how to do that without compromising everything I've worked for.
It's been months since my last real post, but that's where I'm at. I'm picking this LJ thing back up.
Stolen from the Zach's & Will:
1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
Nah, I just do it for the buzz.
2. Have you ever puked at a bar or club?
Yeah. And I tipped the guy who ended up having to clean it up too.
3. What's the largest age difference between yourself and someone you have dated?
Had to be that summer I dated my way through the youth soccer team I coached. Crazy!
4. Have you ever dated someone you met online?
Usually we just hook up in the Taco Bell parking lot.
5. Have you ever smoked pot at a concert?
Can't say that I have.
6. Have you ever dated/fooled around with a coworker?
I should hope not, I work mostly with starchy middle-aged dudes.
7. If so, how did that turn out?
That would be a front-page-of-the-Free-Press level scandal, I imagine.
8. Ever been involved in a hit & run?
Are we talking cars or are we using the parlance of Paula Abdul circa: "Straight Up"?
9. Were you popular in high school?
First 2.5 years, no, then the last year and a half, I was obscenely popular. I think that might have been right around the time I brought alternative to Morenci and invented chewing gum.
10. Have you ever been on a blind date?
Kind of. I was in a chat room when I was 16 and this girl said she was from Toledo, so we met at the Cooker. I felt equally rebellious and lame.
11. Are looks important?
Depends on who's looking.
12. Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more??
Yeah. Due to our pathetic inability to make new friends, we all just moved to the same town and down the street from each other.
13. By what age would you like to be married?
14. Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your view of them?
No, visual obstructions affect my view of thems.
15. Have you ever sacrificed yourself so your friend can get in good with a person of the opposite sex?
Nah, most of my sacrafices are not made to God of sloppy bar hook-ups.
16. Have you ever drank milk that was past the expiration date?
I prefer to think of it as eating cottage cheese.
17.have you ever made a mistake?
This survey comes to mind.
18. Are you a good tipper?
Definitely. Service employees are nature's panhandlers.
19. What's the most you have spent for a haircut?
Ugh, I got my hair cut at the Union for like $20 when I first came to college and it looked like I had a persian cat on my head. I cut my own hair now.
20. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
Where have you gone Mrs. Robinson?
21. Do you know all the words to the first verse of Ice ice Baby?
Lemme think. Yeah, for the most part.
22. Have you ever had crispy bangs?
I don't care for breakfast cereal.
23. Have you ever shaved off your eyelashes?
No, but I might for Halloween. I'm going as 'Powder'
24. What was the worst hairstyle of the 80's?
I'm leaving Zach's answer: "That's like asking what the worst death at Auschwitz was, you know?"
25. Have you ever peed in public?
Between two parked cars, on a well lit street. (Any short music for short people fans out there?)
Strange Questions Survey
1. What is the middle name of the first person you ever slept with?
Patrice. Which I can now only associate with a fat, black comedian who isn't even remotely funny thanks to Patrice O'Neal.
2. What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color?
A neon orange bannana hammock w/ half of a blue plush shark sewn on the front so he looks like he is jumping forth from my groin (that would be a lot more exciting than these tartan plaid boxers)
3. What is the song you want played at your funeral?
Rock n' Roll pt. III by Gary Glitter (he's writing the sequel to Rock n' Roll pt. II for my funeral)
4. Would you tell your parents if you're gay?
Meh, just like any other person I'm dating, they'll find out when I show up with them to Thanksgiving.
5. What would your last meal be before getting executed?
It'd be a toss up between curried chicken and rice or napalm in order to avoid giving those bastards the pleasure.
6. Beatles or Stones?
Beatles for an album. Stones for singles.
7. If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who?
I think I've actually done that accidentally a couple of times. I'm not gonna' tempt fate here.
8. Beer, wine or hard liquor?
9. Do you have any phobias?
10. What are your plans for the future?
Move back to Morenci and pass out in a puddle of corn whiskey behind the Village Inn.
12. Do you walk around the house naked?
Only when someone steals my towel.
13. How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
Depends on what's in my sippy-cup.
14. Where is your best friend?
Probably about 10 miles down there road, wearing a tie and wasting space like me.
15. Hair color you like on someone you're dating?
My girl's hair changes color like a mood ring. I must say, that I definitely enjoy the variety.
16. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
blind, by a mile. Haha, last person I heard asked this question said, "man, that's some Anne Frank, shit." (I think he was going for Helen Keller)
17. Do you have any special talents?
I've learned how to cry in perfect silence.
20. Favorite hateful thing to do to someone?
Make love to them.
21. First movie you can remember seeing as a kid?
Hm...Labyrinth? Poltergiest? Godzilla? They were all around the same time and I can't remember what was first.
22. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?
25. Do you like horror or comedy?
Horrrrror, gore, dark comedy. This can all go hand-in-hand.
Have you seen me on a milk carton lately?
27. WTF??? Where did 27 go? How about I add one? Name your favorite thing.
Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens.
28. If you weren't straight, what person of the same sex would you do?
Aron Lozo's voice. (just realizing that Aaron Lozo may read this...how embarrassing. I love your voice dude. What can I say?)
29. Where do you want to live when you are old?
30. Who is the person you can count on most?
Too close to call between Brad VanStaveren and Sean Elowski.
31. If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?
Hm. It'd be a toss-up between early 60's Grace Slick, late 90's Katie Holmes and 'Secretary'-era Maggie Gyllenhal.
32. Where was your first kiss with your current significant other?
In my room, under the N.W.A. poster, right after getting kicked out of the Temple Club after the last Punks vs. Pokes show. That all sounds a lot more rebellious in retrospect than it probably was in actuality.
33. Favorite drinking game?
The one where I impress friends and onlookers by pounding a gallon of milk in one sitting.
34. What did you dream last night?
I vaguely remember Nas being involved somehow.
35. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Olympic curling followed closely by basketball on TV and baseball in person.
Todd Karinen (formerly of Gaytar/currently of McKultra Culkin) puts on noisey shows the 2nd Tuesday of every month in the Temple Club's Red Light Lounge.
Tonight, Woa, Hey, Whatthefuck!?! in a somewhat reconfigured fashion.
Rob is moving to Detroit so come share a general dissatisfaction for the status quo with and us before he's not around as much.
Yeah. 2 more cool shows at Mac's left. We're playing one of them tomorrow. Check it out...
...we have big stuff brewing...so, more on that later though...